Thursday, September 08, 2005

When the Wheels Come Off

Press Briefing by Scott McClellan

It's one thing to be governed by a sadistic loon whom finds this whole leadership thing so stressful he must hide out at his brush ranch every other month. It's another thing to take orders from an administration that debates on the level of your average third grader citing the merits of Nestle's Kwik versus Ovaltine.

Watching the Flim-Flamtastic Four circle jerk might be entertaining for SpongeDob Stickypants, but the rest of us could do without the hair gel. Scotty McClellan, are you fucking kidding me?

The press: Scott, there's been a colossal fuck-up here. Will anyone lose their job?

The waterboy: I'm made out of rubber!

The press: Scott, please. Can't the President admit mistakes were made?

The waterboy: The only mistake around here was when your dad's spew ran down your mother's leg!

The press: What? Stay right there, you little cocksucker.. you're about to get the crap pounded out of you.

The waterboy: Timeout! Timeout! [Hastily turns around and grabs a small child from a front-row reporter] Go kill the reporter!

"Q Scott, does the President retain confidence in his FEMA Director and Secretary of Homeland Security?

MR. McCLELLAN: And again, David, see, this is where some people want to look at the blame game issue, and finger-point. We're focused on solving problems, and we're doing everything we can --

Q What about the question?

MR. McCLELLAN: We're doing everything we can in support --

Q We know all that.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- of the Department of Homeland Security and FEMA.

Q Does he retain complete confidence --

MR. McCLELLAN: We're going to continue. We appreciate the great effort that all of those at FEMA, including the head of FEMA, are doing to help the people in the region. And I'm just not going to engage in the blame game or finger-pointing that you're trying to get me to engage.

Q Okay, but that's not at all what I was asking.

MR. McCLELLAN: Sure it is. It's exactly what you're trying to play.

Q You have your same point you want to make about the blame game, which you've said enough now. I'm asking you a direct question, which you're dodging.


Q Does the President retain complete confidence in his Director of FEMA and Secretary of Homeland Security, yes or no?

MR. McCLELLAN: I just answered the question.

Q Is the answer 'yes' on both?

MR. McCLELLAN: And what you're doing is trying to engage in a game of finger-pointing.

Q There's a lot of criticism. I'm just wondering if he still has confidence.

MR. McCLELLAN: -- and blame-gaming. What we're trying to do is solve problems, David. And that's where we're going to keep our focus.

Q So you're not -- you won't answer that question directly?

MR. McCLELLAN: I did. I just did.

Q No, you didn't. Yes or no? Does he have complete confidence or doesn't he?

MR. McCLELLAN: No, if you want to continue to engage in finger-pointing and blame-gaming, that's fine --

Q Scott, that's ridiculous. I'm not engaging in any of that.

MR. McCLELLAN: It's not ridiculous."

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