Thursday, August 11, 2005

Boner's Best Friend is All Growed Up

Sadly, No!: Mike Seaver Finally Loses It

Sadly, No! is a little rough on Mikey's fundamentalism.

"You have been a member of the department for as long as you can recall and have been faithful to always show up at the station on time. Today, you get an urgent call from the captain to abandon the station, load the rescue equipment, and go into the mountains to save men, women, and children from the flames. Your captain is counting on you! He needs you to drop everything and join in the rescue mission immediately. Time is of the essence. Human beings are being turned into white ash. You decide you'll pray about it."

Whoa, whoa, wait a second. Kirk. Seriously. Kirk. Let's think about this. I'm supposed to be a fire fighter. As my title suggests, my job is to fight fires, usually for the explicit purpose of saving peoples' lives. One day, my captain comes in and says, 'HOLY SHIT, THERE'S TONS OF PEOPLE DYING, WE NEED YOU TO GO SAVE THEM RIGHT NOW!'

"And you're telling me that my first reaction is to pray about it? What do you think God's going to tell me? If He's worth his salt as a deity, He's going to politely remind my stupid ass that I'm a fire fighter. And if that doesn't work, He'll gently goad me on by sending a bolt of lightning straight up my rectum."

(Hat tip: Atrios)

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